Top 10: Games I Wouldn’t Pay A Dollar For

We are not going to agree on these, and that is fine, but I need to point out how much I don’t want them. I would spend a dollar for a bad game that I just wanted to have in my collection or to mess around with , but these are so bad that I do not even want them in my room. I could write an article length piece about each of these, but for now, dear reader, all I will give is a pint sized warning of why these are to be avoided.

 

Number TEN – TNA Impact!

TNA_iMPACT! GameOne of the worst wrestling games in recent memory.The overly simplistic controls and lack of moves made for stiff repetitive game play that could bore any player. The game’s mechanics were so out of whack that Sting once beat me just by performing reversals. His reversals did as much as my finishing maneuvers! The characters looked great but everything else was bland and the create-a-character was a joke. TNA Impact! was one of the last games published by Midway before it (jokingly) caused their collapse. They have a new game in the works and it can’t possibly suck as much as this one!

 

Number NINE – Too Human

One of the most over-Too Humanhyped and anticipated games of all time. This pile of crap was originally supposed to be released on the original Playstation, but managed to be released on the X-Box 360 instead. From developer Silicon Knights, the game was stuck in development hell and really should have stayed there. The action-role playing game used the Unreal 3 engine, which led to a dispute and lawsuit with Epic Games. Since Epic won, Silicon Knights had to recall all unsold copies of the game and destroy them. The game was blasted all around for its stiff game play, unconventionally awkward combat, and annoying death sequences that cannot be skipped. Actually, the only thing that the developers got right was the art direction.

 

Number EIGHT – Metal Gear Solid Four

metal_gear_solid_4I am watching a movie, but I’m playing a game; actually I’m not sure. There is one cut scene that is so long it actually has two save points in it. MGS4 has received a series of positive remarks from critics, but it pisses me off. If the player can get past the boredom of sitting through the long cut scenes, viewers will still get tired of listening to the computer constantly talking in their ear. Players should also get used to dying a lot to a stealth system that is not user friendly. To be fair, every MGS game has a learning curve, but this title wants to hate its audience. The story is confusing at best. Many guides actually suggest replaying the other titles before trying to interpret this very complex and overly Japanese story.

 

Number SEVEN – Batman Forever

Batman_Forever_Game_BoxThis game makes me angry. The controls are one of the biggest problems, one of the most unconventional button set-ups for any beat em’ up, ever. It took me forever to figure out how to use the grappling hook, since it is select and then immediately pressing the up button. If that wasn’t enough, there is actually a glitch in the FIRST level of the game that can cause players to have to restart. This game made a bold attempt at a realistic look that was almost creepy, but repetitive game play, overused backgrounds, and uncreative boss fights mar the game based off of an exceptional masterpiece…a good movie…a brilliantly mediocre film…that I loved.

 

Number SIX – Superman 64

superman 64I’m not sure if I even need to say anything about this one. Based off of Superman the Animated Series, this convoluted plot was obviously not written by the show writers. It would be higher on the list if it wasn’t so predictable. This game is qualified as one of the worst video games ever in many circles, and was so bad that it lead to the Playstation version of the game being cancelled. I could talk about what was bad about the game, but it’s the controls, the flying, the challenges, the AI, the visuals, the—well everything is bad. Superman’s real kryptonite is the video games and movies they try to put him in.

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About Stephen Wilds

From the depths of the dirty South--Writer, student, gamer, and recovering internet addict. My writing appears on: www.intothepalewilds.blogspot.com
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